How to Manage the Feeling of Not Being Good Enough

We all have moments (and sometimes extended periods) of feeling like we’re not quite measuring up. It’s part of being human.

It’s easy to let these feelings consume you and overcoming them is often easier said than done.

When hindering thoughts start to creep in, ask yourself this: “What’s stopping me from feeling like I’m good enough?” There is no physical barrier to self-worth. It’s something that your mind creates based on past experiences, beliefs, and thoughts. The best part is you have the power to choose to change the way you think about yourself.

Here are a few things you can do to ease the sensation and begin to overcome it.

Be kind to yourself

We can be our own worst critics, and when we’re already feeling down, it’s all too easy to get caught in a loop of self-doubt and negativity. Start being kind to yourself by regularly practising self-compassion. 

Take care of yourself physically and emotionally, set realistic goals and crucially, ask for support when you need it.  Check out my blog ‘Asking For Support’ for tips on how to do just this here [Asking for support blog link].

It takes time, and plenty of practice to learn how to truly support yourself, but it’s worth it. When you’re able to do that, you’ll be better able to let go of hindering thoughts.

Practice self-awareness

Try to take note of the triggers that set off negative self-talk and recognise the thoughts and beliefs that fuel it. This will help you to become aware of your mindset and the way you talk to yourself. When you notice you’re putting yourself down or judging yourself harshly, instead of giving in to those negative thoughts, challenge them by looking for evidence to the contrary.

For example, if you think, “I’m not good enough,” ask yourself, “Compared to whom?” or, “In what ways am I not good enough?” When you challenge negative thoughts and beliefs you begin to realize that they may not be true at all. Chances are, you’ll find they are based on irrational beliefs, faulty assumptions or distorted perceptions.

Choose the people you spend time with… carefully

Spend time with people who do things that make you happy, praise you for your accomplishments and who make you feel good about yourself. Limit time with those who don’t. No matter their relation, you don’t owe anyone your time if it comprises your mental happiness. 

Remember – you are worthy and deserving of love and respect regardless of what anyone else says or thinks. As you focus on positive self-affirmation, the sensation of not feeling worthy enough will begin to dissipate.

If you want further support around your happiness and well-being, you can find tips in my book Ten Times Happier here.

Take care, look after yourself and I’ll speak to you soon.

Owen

P.S. My new book, How to Be Your Own Therapist, is out on 23 June. It will help you with your hindering thoughts and overcoming them. You can pre-order a copy here.

Women alone looking at lake illustrating thinking