Why Your Mind Isn’t Always Your Friend (And How To Change That!)

You’re not alone if you constantly have feelings of self-doubt, anxiety and insecurity; a whole mixture of thoughts telling you that you are not enough.

But no one is born with the belief that they aren’t good enough. These thoughts are inherited and accumulated along the way. And now I’m here to help you conquer them!

What’s important to remember is this: your thoughts do not define you.

Thoughts – especially the critical, judgemental ones – aren’t facts. You can and should challenge your self-limiting beliefs, because, really, they’re no more than a random sequence of repeated patterns. Patterns that can be rearranged!

Our brains might be highly evolved, loud and powerful, but that doesn’t mean they are always right. 

Making the decision to check-in with our thoughts will help us realise that how we’re feeling is largely dependent on the way we choose to react to our thoughts.

And that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Instead of giving into negative mentalities or feelings like sadness or anger, you can turn them around and make them work for you.


How to make negative emotions work positively for you…

All emotions are there for a reason, mainly to bring us back to a point of balance. Even if they are difficult or uncomfortable, your feelings are never as simple as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ They need to be acknowledged and explored so that they can be resolved.

To help understand and resolve them, it’s important to ask yourself some questions. What is this emotion telling you? Why do you keep doubting yourself? Search for lessons rather than control.

Remember, too, that it’s all about interpretation. Just because you admire a person and wish you had the same lifestyle, doesn’t mean that he or she isn’t struggling with the exact same issues that you are. You might be interpreting their happiness in one way whilst their reality is completely different.

This is why it’s so important that you don’t compare yourself with others. You can only trust in yourself and in the fact that you’re doing your best. After all, the opposite of self-doubt isn’t arrogance, it’s self-belief! Self-belief which you deserve.

I believe that implementing mindfulness in this way can bring us closer to long-lasting happiness and higher self-esteem. By practising mindfulness, we can become a version of ourselves where our minds are no longer our enemy.

Of course, we all have our down days, but I hope that these ideas of mine resonated with you and have given you some food for thought.

I love hearing feedback from my readers and want to provide as much positivity as I can in what are such uncertain times. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions, and if you want further advice and support, you can always read my books: Ten Times Happier / Ten to Zen.


Look after yourself and keep looking on the bright side. I’ll speak to you soon.


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Making friends with your brain, Owen O'Kane